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Dak Prescott was spotted getting cozy with Sarah Jane Ramos, a bridesmaid at a recent wedding, sparking dating rumors. Ramos’ fellow bridesmaid has since spoken out to address the speculation publicly.
Dak Prescott is out here hunting bridesmaids at weddings and I genuinely cannot find a flaw in the strategy.
The bridesmaid has officially spoken and is “addressing” the rumors, which in celebrity gossip language means the rumors are completely true and everyone involved is mildly embarrassed about the timeline. Nobody calls a press conference to deny something that didn’t happen.
Here’s what I know about weddings. The emotional stakes are through the roof, the open bar is running hot, everyone is dressed their absolute best, and bridesmaids are contractually obligated to be cheerful for twelve consecutive hours. It is the single most fertile ground for romantic chaos ever devised by Western civilization. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn made a whole movie about this and society largely agreed they were operating correctly.
Dak is just living the bit.
Alas, he’s also a Dallas Cowboys quarterback, which means this will somehow turn into a three-week media cycle, someone will ask Jerry Jones about it, and we’ll all be worse off for it.
The woman’s BRIDESMAID is out here doing press. Not Sarah Jane. The bridesmaid. That detail alone tells you everything about how quickly this got out of hand.
It’s your world Dak, we’re all just attending the wedding.
