(BroBible)
A Dallas man discovered that Texas Roadhouse has added a Chicken Alfredo Penne to their menu, a surprising new item for a restaurant built entirely on steaks and country cooking. The item is generating genuine buzz from customers who weren’t expecting to find Italian pasta at a place known for ribs and rolls.
Texas Roadhouse is a steakhouse. That is a fact. You go there, you eat a ribeye, you fill up on those free rolls with the cinnamon butter before the food arrives, and you spend the rest of the evening on the couch making peace with your decisions. That is the contract.
So someone explain to me why a Dallas man walked into a Texas Roadhouse and found Chicken Alfredo Penne on the menu.
Not a steak. Not ribs. Penne. With alfredo sauce. At a place where the floors are covered in peanut shells and the waitress calls you “hon.”
I have eaten at Texas Roadhouse. I have never once sat down and thought, ill have a creamy Italian pasta. Nobody has. That is not why people are there. People are there because they want a 20-ounce bone-in ribeye for sixteen dollars, eat 4 baskets of bread and then they want to feel like they’re going to explode in the parking lot.
And yet. Here we are. Chicken Alfredo Penne. At Texas Roadhouse.
If Texas Roadhouse can serve penne, then the whole system is a lie, nothing means anything, and I need to go back and reconsider every institution I have ever trusted. Olive Garden is probably selling brisket right now and I don’t even know about it.
