Well ladies and gentlemen, the decay of western society is officially upon us! Meet, 1x Neo. The most useless invention of the 21st century. Before we dive into this piece of shit invention lets have a quick conversation about the name. 1X Neo? I mean, can we have a tiny bit of creativity when naming our useless robots? I can picture the Silicon Valley dweebs who invented this in their sterile glass think tank office circle jerking themselves over the “branding” of this thing. A three week brainstorm session and that’s what they land on? Are we suppose to be impressed by this name? Is it suppose to sound futuristic or something? Cause it’s not, it’s just stupid. Here’s an idea, name it Gary. At least I can tell Gary to go fuck himself when it takes 8 business days for him to load a single fork into the dishwasher.
Seriously though, who in their right mind would spend TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on this useless bot? I pay my house keeper 100 dollars a week. For those who aren’t sharp with arithmetic thats $5,200 dollars a year. That’s 1/4 the cost of this, and I promise you my housekeeper cleans a hell of a lot faster and better than fucking Gary does.
And the best part? This useless piece of metal doesn’t even operate on its own. It’s literally being remote controlled by some dude in a VR headset who’s probably a sexual predator. That means you’re dropping twenty grand so Kyle from To Catch a Predator can virtually stand in the corner of your house, pretending to fold towels while secretly watching you jerk off. Congratulations, you just bought the world’s first pervert robot.
If this is “the future,” I need a time machine. For twenty Gs I could pay a housekeeper for four years, or buy a jet ski, or do literally anything else that doesn’t involve a creeper watching me walk around my house naked. The 1X Neo isn’t a robot it’s a $20,000 reminder that we as a society have officially lost our god damn minds.