Who the Fuck Waits in Line for a Grocery Store

By Scott Willson · 2026-11-11

SkyFOX caught a massive line wrapped around the brand new Whole Foods Market flagship at 3rd and Fairfax on Wednesday morning, ahead of its 9 a.m. grand opening. The 63,000 square foot store replaces the old Fairfax location next door and is way bigger than the typical 40,000 square foot Whole Foods. The first 300 people in line got a limited edition tote bag, and everyone got a coupon worth up to $100. Inside there’s a taproom, a charcuterie bar, sushi rolled daily and more than 780 wines.

Look, I love Whole Foods as much as the next holistic medicine connoisseur (I’m not at all a holistic medicine connoisseur, but I feel like one when I go to Whole Foods), but this line is fuckin outta control. Who the fuck waits in line for a grocery store? And I think the better question might be, what does it look like inside if there’s a line that long?

Like, what’s the max capacity of a super Whole Foods? 1,500? I have no idea. Do you have to wait in line at each aisle? I have so many questions. And then I find out the first 300 people in line were getting a limited edition tote bag, which honestly makes it so much worse. You stood on a sidewalk on a Wednesday morning, when you could’ve been at work like a normal person, so you could carry your kombucha home in a bag with Fairfax printed on it. So if you waited in line for a Whole Foods... take a fuckin lap, buddy.