I love this man. If you say nimbostratus clouds 3 times to a mirror with the lights off Dallas Raines will appear. Don Draper cowers when Dallas Raines passes him on the sidewalk. He has Broadway bravado with a chance of scattered thunderstorms. I mean look at him in this clip…
The double flat hands into the power fist is to Dallas Raines as the raised eyebrow is to The Rock. I feel like I’m getting a foot massage while speedballing when Dallas comes into frame. I’m calm, but I’m also having an out of body experience. My favorite Hollywood rumor is that Dallas was the first choice to play Brody in Point Break, but since he’s so dedicated to predicating the weather every night he decided to pass on the role and gave it to Patrick Swayze instead.
You know how hard it is to be entertaining as the Los Angeles weatherman? You’re competing against Hollywood stars, and the never changing southern california weather. It quite literally is always sunny and 80. Not too much variation to get hyped up about. The Catalina winds are like disease free unprotected sex for Dallas. At best L.A. has maybe a little light drizzle or a heatwave he can get stoked on, but that’s about it. Well, fires, we have fires too sometimes, but that’s beside the point. The point is this man should be nation wide. He should be THE face of the weather channel. He should have replaced Roker years ago. I swear network executives have to be the least competent people on the planet. It’s your world Dallas, we’re all just living in it!
